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I realize I fell into that old gay adage of placing my feelings on a person who, for whatever reason, was never going to invest them back in me.
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I believe it was just sex, or at least that’s what I have tell myself now to avoid slipping into a memory induced k-hole. I think, when I look back now and occasionally find myself tumbling through his Facebook page, that he wasn’t. I never learned whether the boy I lost my virginity to was struggling with his sexuality. I’m not sure whether I really fell for the guy or not, but I do know that at the end of it he was just using me to get off. And while at the beginning I felt like I had the upper hand in the situation-I was the one who was out and comfortable in my sexuality, right?-after each time we met became more secretive and more dirty, I began to feel secretive, dirty, and most of all shameful. We’d meet surreptitiously in dark and make out in the cold British weather on a park bench before venturing back to his place to have sex. I didn’t tell him that I’d never had sex with someone before instead, saturated with vodka and inflated by nerves, I was swept up in the motions.įor the next year, we’d hook-up on and off, usually at 3 a.m. All I know is that one moment we were talking and the next minute, well. The minutiae of exactly how things developed from us being together in that room to us having slightly unsuccessful sex in a bathroom in a different corridor have since escaped me. He was clearly intoxicated, but it was a party after all and who was I, quite drunk myself, to judge. It was late (or early, depending on your outlook on the world) when I was joined by the boy who was living in the room next to mine, way back on the other side of the building. I can remember, although I'd had some drinks, sitting alone in my friend’s room on a single bed, the mattress overly springy and with a coarse plastic coating, attempting to stream a song over our dorm’s spotty Internet connection.
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The whole thing went down near the end of my freshman year at a party, at which people from the whole dorm floor were drunk and celebrating, carelessly streaming in and out of each other’s rooms, following the various different pop songs until one room took their fancy. I was at college, living in dorms, and the experience-aside from the usual horrifying awkwardness and somewhat spontaneity of the occasion-was completely and utterly unremarkable aside from one thing: the guy I slept with identified as straight. India is simply too powerful to allow for that.I was 19 when I first had full-on sex with another man. You will not come back from a trip there unchanged. India truly is one of the most incredible, tumultuous and wondrous destinations on earth. Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai, Agra, and Jaipur were the most visited cities. Another reason to consider going now instead of waiting: foreign tourist arrivals doubled between 20 from 5 million to 10 million, with the US, UK, Canada and Australia providing the most overseas visitors. The world is taking notice of India’s incredibleness and it’s happening quickly. The UNESCO sites include not just the iconic Taj Mahal but some lesser-known wonders: the hill forts of Rajasthan, the mountain railways and the architectural works of Le Corbusier in Chandigarh. That’s all part of what makes it incredible in addition to its seminal sites, the Ganges River, the Himalayas, the beaches of Goa and the Pink City of Jaipur, not to mention 37 World Heritage Sites, the sixth most of any nation. Bewilderingly, India can also be a jarring and maddening place to travel because of its overpopulation, heat, touts and all around chaotic vibe. And don’t forget, it is India that gifted the world yoga and meditation and is, therefore, a powerful place to go on retreat. A deeply spiritual place, India gave birth to four of the world’s major religions – Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism. All of this forward motion and optimism for the gay community makes India a destination that should be on any gay traveller’s list right now.